Owners who convert their pet are purely their own wishful thinking, because they believe firmly that it is their responsibility to provide the best for their pets. This is similar to the love shown by parents who arrange for religious ceremonies for their new-born baby.
Buddhism believes that "all beings possess Buddha nature", and animals are no exception. Although they are animals, their temperament could be modulated with the influence of good environment. We used to have two dogs in the monastery in Vancouver. They are carnivores before they came to our monastery. After taking The Three Refuges, they become herbivores and practice with us. One loves the recitation of the Buddha’s name while the other adores meditation. When the bell for practice sounds, they would immediately return to their own “hut” to practice. There are so many of such examples and cases.
We truly believe that life is in an endless cycle of birth and death. When the causes and conditions mature, the seed of kindness will germinate, and it would be born in a higher realm in the future.
You are caring towards animals. You had done everything you could to take care of the dog. The bondage between both of you had surpassed the relationship between humans and animals. You had done well in terms of predestined affinity. It is human nature that we "couldn’t bear the suffering of all sentient beings". Since your dog had died, it is no long important to talk about how it passed away. The most important thing is that you need to be in peace with its passing and hope that it is able to take rebirth in a good realm.
Buddhism talks about the past and present lives. If you wish that it could take a good rebirth, you must let go of your sadness and guilt as soon as possible. Your dog can surely be able to sense any negative emotion from you, and how could that be “wholesome”? You should send your blessings and guidance to your dog with a loving heart and great faith. As for the formality of the funeral, it is not important now but do not keep its ashes at home. If possible, please store the ashes in a bag made of cloth and bury it under a tree so that it would be re-connected with the heaven and earth.
Take good care of yourself, you have many responsibilities in your life, once a responsibility has fulfilled, you have to let go and move on to care for other sentient beings with love.
If they reject your idea, you should pay attention to the following if you were to place the statue in the bedroom:
- Are you single or married? If you are married, it would not be appropriate to place the Bodhisattva statue in the bedroom.
- If you are single, the Bodhisattva should not be facing the bed directly, or you could install a curtain to block off the view when necessary. You should be mindful not to change your clothes, being naked or be in any disrespectful posture when you are in the room.
For the consecration of the Bodhisattva statue, you could prepare some pure water and recite the Great Compassion Mantra three times, then wipe the image with the water. You should offer a glass of clean water to the image every day and contemplate on the compassionate nature of Avalokitesvara, and practice according to his teachings.
Best wishes to you.
It is true that you would lose you consciousness after being administered with general anesthesia and therefore unable to recite the Buddha’s name.
I suggest that you make it a habit to recite the Buddha’s name as your daily practice so that you could continue to do so at your deathbed even though you are under the influence of medication. With these accumulated resources, good deeds and the good karma from practicing the recitation of the Buddha’s name, they could be of great influence to your destiny upon death.
The practices of chanting the sutra and reciting the mantra are not being confined to indoor, they could be done outdoor if the place is suitable and safe. You must know the objectives for these activities: chanting the sutra enable you to understand the teachings of the Buddha after which you should try to purify your thought, speech and action. This would sow good seeds in your Alaya consciousness, weaken and reduce your bad karma.
It would be good if you could maintain a clear mind which could help in the purification of your thought, speech and action even when you are tired.
All the best to you.
It is not easy to gain a foothold in society. Very often we fight against each other or even kill each other because of fame and gain. You have a good frame of mind that enable you to distinguish the rights from the wrongs. If possible, you must be very careful not to violate the law, take each step mindfully to ensure that the decision you make is not causing any harm to others nor benefitting only yourself. This is because even if you could escape from the law in the society, you could not run away from the law of causality. Saying this may make you more worried, but it is true. You have to make a wish or a vow that if this job is not suitable, you would rather look for another job.
Other could do wrong but not you.
Since you have taken the precepts, simply observe them. You should visit Buddhist temples more often whenever opportunity arises. Safeguard your beginner’s mind as if you are protecting a young seed, this would cause the Bodhicitta in you to develop and bloom.
Daily practice for laities should be simple in order for its long-term continuity.
You could choose one of the followings for your daily chanting:
The Heat sutra, Amitabha Sutra, Ksitigarbha Sutra (one chapter per day), or the Universal Gate Chapter (Pu Men Pin), and The Three Refuge.
These are just my suggestions as they are the shorter and more common, there are also many other sutras to choose from. Allocate 10 minutes in the morning and evening chanting sessions to recite the name of the Buddha or a Bodhisattva.
Depending on your time, mental and physical states, you could choose any sutra for chanting.
Has your friend gone through any incident that has greatly affected him, hurt him or made him sad? Could he sleep at night?
Meditation allows our body and mind to rest, to be calmed and settled, and produce a therapeutic effect. He could try.
In the Buddhist context, it does not mean that you couldn’t complain but because of the followings:
- Whether it is karma or cause and effect, be done with it in this life and not let it continue into your next life.
- It is useless to complain, instead it would cause hatred and the feeling of powerless.
It is normal for us to suffer from mood swing and perplexity but make sure it does not last too long, because this would weaken us and disrupt our lives. Do not punish ourselves for others’ mistake. In fact, the world would not stop operating due to the lack of someone or something, it is only because of our unwillingness to let go. You could try to do volunteer services to increase your strength through collective group energy to overcome your hindrance.
In ancient times, on a certain mountain, there lived a pious old lady who used to chant "Om Mani Padme Niu" non-stop. She was very dedicated in her practice that people at the foot of the mountain could see bright auspicious light emitting from where she lived. They admired her power and asked her about her practice. When they discovered that she had mistakenly pronounced "Om Mani Padme Hum" as "Om Mani Padme Niu", they corrected her. The old lady was disappointed and thought that she had wasted all her effort in her practice, she was very discouraged and couldn't continue her practice anymore. The bright auspicious light disappeared from then on.
What I want to convey is that the main point in reciting the name Amitabha is not on its pronunciation but on whether you are diligent and attentive while reciting. “The puja of Three Periods of Contemplation Service" states that "the recitation of Amitabha's name can transform a restless mind into clarity." The emphasis is placed on being mindful in the present moment and recitation is being done without strayed thoughts.
Regardless of whether you are reciting the mantra or the Buddha, it is important to assimilate the body and mind and subdue your defilements. I hope I have cleared your doubts! Thank you.
All precepts are being established for the accomplishment of man. Not only the laities, even the monastics are allowed to consume such kind of medicines for the purpose of prolonging their life for the propagation of the Dhamma. Furthermore, these medicines are taken without the element of greed, therefore, please feel at ease to nurse your health by taking these medicines.
Am I right to say that for the accumulation of good karma, it is important to refrain from all the negative or harmful speeches besides not eating meat?
Your teacher is right, it is impossible that one asks for nothing in return, because becoming a vegetarian and chanting the sutta are acts of filial piety, do not doubt but instead do it with earnest sincerity.
In all the domains of practice leading to enlightenment, visiting and taking care of the sick is considered the foremost. You are blessed with the ability to care for the sick and to train new staff for the hereditary succession of your profession.
Do you usually take a breather away from your work? What are your interests apart from work? You need relax yourself and meditation is good way to do so. Simply enjoy your breathing without letting your mind being drifted away with other thoughts. In this way, by focusing on the present moment, your body and mind could relax and rest. Are you willing to try?
Any sutra would be effective when you have the energy and the right mentality to overcome difficulties.
Your body would be weak after the surgery and it would be difficult for you to concentrate if you were to recite a long sutra. You may start with reciting the Heart Sutra. After a period of time when your body is slowly recovering, then you may recite the Chapter of Universal Gate of the Lotus Sutra.
Besides chanting, you must stay positive and be optimistic. I hope you could rest well and I wish you a speedy recovery.
No, they are not contradictory. If you put insurance to good use, it provides you with protection and allows you to plan for your life. Anyone could buy insurance.
I would like to ask you: Are you a Buddhist? If so, how would you feel if someone recite the Bible to you?
You must give him what he needs if you love him. You could chant the sutras or perform Buddhist rituals for him in private so that you could have a peace of mind and as a form of dedication of filial piety.
Would you consider telling your father that you would read the Bible to him?
2. 為避免蚜蟲生長，可試在泥裏加上咖啡渣，Starbucks 有得免費取用。
The past few years have been difficult for you. You have been suffering and busy coping with the illness and the side effects of the treatments. With the hope of recovery went in vain, it is understandable to feel helpless and dire, and elicit a roller coaster of emotions.
Our lifespan is limited, so we should ensure that we are the master of our lives by deciding how we should spend each day.
If I were you, I would firstly tune my mindset, stop wasting time dwelling in sorrows and blaming others; I would spend my time to improve the relationship with my family and friends, and to put some efforts in my spiritual cultivation, such as repentance, practicing right understanding and right mindfulness, in my daily life. I would cherish myself more. When I have the energy, I would do something I am interested in, or what I intent to do but did not take any action. I would live in the present moment and no longer waste my time thinking about the past and worrying about the future.
I hope the above would be helpful to you.
At the start of this New Year, I wish that you would make full use of every day by living in the present moment.
Do not totally believe in fate or what the fortune-teller has told you. By spending more time serving and building good relationships with others, your destiny could be changed.
Happiness is not necessarily obtained through marriage, you can also be happy when you meet like-minded friends.
People who are afraid of being hurt are usually easily wounded by themselves. In fact, everyone has a unique personality and extraordinary abilities to protect himself. People who are truly capable of self-communication are those who could thoroughly understand their inner feelings and emotions. Since you have chosen such a lifestyle, accept it with ease. Do you need to see a doctor? Ask yourself whether you would believe what the doctor says?
There are people who would refuse to take any advice at certain stages of their lives, or they would reject the suggestions from certain people. To do him real good, you should hold your tongue after giving him your advice for three times. Save the good relationship or the resources for a later day.
It is difficult for a person with a clear mind to do this as it requires great love and patience. It is unwise to be too anxious sometimes, and I believe that he would gradually change with your love and care.
I think my advice is good, if you do not take it, don’t you see the similarity in his ignoring your advice?
If you are contented, you would be grateful for everything you have. If you are not, then every experience is considered as suffering.
Suffering cannot alleviate suffering. Weeping with her when she cried would only intensify the suffering in both of you. You have to guide her to reflect along this direction: Fortunately, my children have grown up when I contracted the disease; there is still hope to be cured; and there are supports from friends…….. Adopt a positive attitude when communicating with her, only if you could perceive things in such way could you accompany her through this difficult time.
As everyone has different personalities, it accounts for the different attitudes when handling things. Is there any problem if his/her viewpoint and decision are accepted by the majority of the people?
Even if s/he has a problem, you are unable to change him/her. Put aside the prejudice against her/him, get close to her/him, and be mindful of how much you respect and tolerate others.
The deterioration of your eye-sight is an inherited health issue which is inevitable and irreversible. You could not change what has taken place to your body, yet you could adjust your mentality instead. While you are still able to see, build up the habit of putting daily necessities in the same place such that you know by heart where to get them, and train your sense of direction. Instead of worrying about tomorrow, cherish what you have at present and prepare for the future.
You are a very lucky person yet you sometimes feel unhappy, the following might account for that:
- Was there anything unpleasant happened in your life? If so, that incident might have left a deep imprint in your mind and memory. These feelings and influence need to be dealt with; or
- You have been working hard for your family and yourself all these years and your family has been your only focal point. Now you should try to extend your care and concern to a bigger group of people. The value of your life will grow when you offer you help unconditionally to those in need, without asking for return. This proves to be a win-win situation. You would definitely become a happier person.
There is nothing known as a perfect life, in times of happiness there bound to be elements of sadness. With the realization of this principle, you would be undisturbed by any encounters in life.
You should respect everyone instead of doing what you wish to do. Your friend might want to concentrate on her recovery or she is still unable to accept her illness. Regardless of whatever reason, you should send her your blessings to reduce her anxiety of seeing others. The best way is to share your merits with her.
Do you know what is meant by sharing of merits? That means to share with others the merits from the good deeds that you have done. You feel sad and shed tears for her frequently, then all she receives would be sadness and tears. In order to strengthen the merits from the chanting of the scriptures, one requires a joyous and faithful heart. Send your blessings with sincerity and loving kindness, and pray that she would allow you to visit her. If you really wish her well, then go and take care of other people. This action would connect the hearts of both of you, only when you could be at ease physically and mentally, she is then able to do likewise.
Try your best, you would surely achieve unexpected results with sincerity. Your loving kindness and good intention would be felt by your friend.
All matters which are formed ecologically between heaven and earth have their natural energy. This kind of energy could change the surrounding magnetic field, influence the physical and psychological reactions of people, and bring about the good or bad effects on them. However, it is not ultimate to rely solely on these things otherwise no disaster would fall upon those people who sell them.
The strongest power lies in your heart. The most practical and ideal way is to be able to control your mind, change your mindset and maintain right thoughts even when the surrounding circumstances are unfavourable.
Refrain from getting angry even when they irritate you. Smile more and shower your love on them. Everyone loves to be close to a wife or mother with a smiling face and a loving heart.
Do not put all your attention on your husband and children. Radiate your loving kindness to those who need help around you. If you are able to do this, I believe your illness would be cured soon.
Do not be concerned whether there is doomsday or not. If it is true, it would be the concern of the whole world instead of an individual’s.
You should treat every day as your doomsday and your birthday. Cherish every day and live it to the fullest.
You could recite the scriptures, dedicate your merits to the victims, send your blessings to the survivors and radiate loving kindness with sincerity. Hope that the deceased could take rebirth in the three upper realms and the survivors could get the assistance they need to return to their normal lives as soon as possible.
You could make a donation if you can.
If any monastery organizes the "Three Periods of Contemplation Service" or any other pujas, you may participate; make use of the support from group practice in recitation of the scriptures, share your merits thus accumulated with your loved ones.
This comes from the “Kuan Xin Yao” written by Mr Zhao Puchu. They are simple and straight phrases which are very beneficial to you.
Life is like the sun - rises from the east and sets in the west. Your day could be filled with anxiety and sadness, or with joy and happiness. It all depends on how you choose to live your life.
It is very common to encounter good times or adversities in your life. No matter what you are dealing with, do not push yourself to a dead end, otherwise you may never get out of it. So long as you remain calm and unaffected by adversities, you would be “physically and mentally at ease”.
"Ego clinging" means self-centered, it refers to a person who is only concerned of “self”. Even though others might have good suggestions, you would reject them based on your own ideas and opinions. As you do not care about others’ feelings, you are easily troubled and this affects the people around you. Although you could not be classified as a bad person, you are definitely an unhappy person.
When two persons of the same personality meet, with each holding on to one’s own views, they would end up parting with discord. If the other person is your family member, the relationship would become more distant and it would be difficult to experience family love. In your youth, you can afford to use abundance of your energy and will-power to support your “ego”. But when you are old or sick, with your declined physical and mental health, holding on to your ego and attachment would bring you lots of sufferings.
It’s very simple to be happy. First of all, let go of your ego or the concept of “self”, change your bad habits and care more about others.
It is not difficult to build up your confidence. Start with doing something within your ability, you would then feel that life is abundant and joyous.
There is definitely kamma being involved for taking a life, it is not the time to feel guilty but to take the following remedy actions:
- You could put up a tablet for “Fetus XXX” during the Qing Ming Festival or whenever any monastery is conducting large-scale rituals.
- If possible, you can recite the scriptures yourself and share the merits with the aborted fetus with a heart full of loving kindness. Send your blessing to him and direct him to take a good rebirth.
- Do good deeds on his behalf every month - it could be in a form of monetary donation or providing service to people who are in need.
Do not think that being cheated is a kind of “loss”, see it as “gain” instead. What have you gained?
- See the true side of the person;
- Will not be conned by him in the future;
- Learn to protect yourself;
- Feel fortunate that although you are thinking of taking revenge, you have not put your thoughts into action;
- Know that evil deeds could bring lots of sufferings to others, and therefore treasure everyone around you.
If you could not be kind to those people who have treated you badly, then treat yourself well first!
Pay attention to the ups and downs of your emotions, when you notice that you have negative emotion, do not try to find out who caused it, quickly bestir yourself.
Since it is difficult to decide, then do not make a choice now. Let your emotions settle first and you would gradually gain the wisdom and courage to make the right decision. Think deeply and profoundly, true affinity must be able to withstand tests.
It is definitely upsetting for any wife to discover her husband having an affair with another woman. Having waited for an hour before confronting him, it shows that you are a very calm person. Although you should have confidence in him, you must also protect yourself because people’s personalities vary. If he has previous conviction, you should be prepared and have plans of your own.
First of all, do not get pregnant for the time being to avoid bringing harm to your children in the future.
It is important to be psychologically prepared. If you are a Buddhist, you would know how causes and conditions arise. Sadness is inevitable, but you must learn to face it. Ask yourself these questions: If he were to leave you one day, how are you going to survive? Are you going to be resentful for the rest of your life? Or accept it, cheer up and move on with your life?
There are three things you can do now:
One: Learn the skills of earning a living; this would enable you to support yourself financially and pave the path to a good future.
Two: You can do these at home every day: Send your blessings, share your merits, and your thankfulness to him for creating this family with you. Let the feeling of happiness that you have with him regenerate within yourself.
Three: Since he wants your trust, then you should not doubt him, try your best and give your full support to save this marriage.
Remember what you are doing now is not for him, but solely for yourself. Do not blame anyone when you discover that the outcome is not up to your expectations or wishes. If you could not find happiness within yourself, how could you expect others to bring you happiness?
There is always a reason for the arising and diminishing of causes and conditions, read more Buddhist books and you would have a clearer view and direction in your life.
Your wish has been fulfilled, hasn’t it? You have expectations of him but he is not willing to contribute more to the continuation of this relationship. You should not have any expectations or being too accommodating with him as this would only bring more suffering to everyone. Your main responsibilities now are to take care of yourself and your son.
There is a price for everything in life and you should learn from this incident. Losing money is a small matter but maintaining right mindfulness is what matters most. It’s time you should put a stop to it if the kammic relationship can end in such a way. You could not let go as your attention is still focusing on this person, you should spend your time serving others instead.
Reflecting on this incident, you would attain a higher level of wisdom and a clearer state of mind to understand human nature and the teachings of causes and conditions. These achievements could not be measured in monetary terms. You should be thankful for your encounters in the past eight years. Be mindful that you must not continue on this wrong path but take the right path courageously.
Love is two-way. You fall in love with a man who does not love you. You should let go of this relationship, otherwise you would be in deep trouble.
Instead of just concentrating your love on an individual; you should extend your love to other people and all those who are in need of it.
The most attractive feature of a lady is the ability to radiate love. You look for love everywhere, but if you stop looking, Mr. Right may just be right there beside you.
Your girls are in their adolescence which is an important stage of their life and they could be rebellious. An irresponsible husband is undoubtedly harmful to the family. Does he stay at home often? Is he supporting the family financially? How does he behave?
If he is carrying out his duties as a father well and shows concern for his daughters, you might wish to maintain the family for the sake of your daughters for the time being and re-evaluate the situation until when your daughters have grown up.
You are very filial to consider about your mother’s well-being. You have made significant progress after learning the Dhamma, being able to convince your family about the goodness of Buddhism and put what you have learnt into practice.
If your mother is willing to accept your opinion, you may invite her to participate in activities, courses, etc. organized by the monasteries, so that your mother can also benefit from the Dhamma.
If your mother is unable to accept the Dhamma at this moment, you may continue your practice. Do not force onto her as it will cause greater rejection.
First of all, you need to give the aborted fetus a name, recite the Ksitigarbha Sutta every day, share this merit with him, repent to him for your wrong doing and ask him for forgiveness. Make this your life-long practice.
My blessings to you!
Your filial piety towards your mother is touching. It is not easy to complete the recitation at night after a day’s work.
Practice emphasizes on perseverance and diligence, you can recite one section per night instead of the whole Sutta.
In addition, visit your mother as often as you can and try to understand her thoughts and concerns. If there is any unresolved conflict between the two of you, say “sorry” to her besides telling her “I love you”, and “thank you”.
Please take care of yourself!
From the understanding of the cause and effect of kamma, I believe that some parents would hurt their children.
You have been mentally tortured by your mother for 40 years and you are still by her side, this shows how filial you are! If you could not bear with it anymore, you could choose to live your life in suitable and beneficial way. To practice filial piety does not necessary mean you must live together to practice filial piety. By avoiding and not making her angry could be considered filial too, and this could improve the relationship.
If you are a Buddhist, spend some time every day to worship the Buddha or repent on the grievance between the two of you. If you are a non-Buddhist, send your blessings to your mother every day and wish her a better life in the future. Are you feeling aggrieved? You have obviously been tortured by her and yet you have to repent and send her your blessings. You should read more books about kamma, then only you would understand that this is the most thorough way of resolving grievances.
You have done well but it needs wisdom to “pay off your debts”. Your mother has made you suffer for 40 years, from now onwards, take care of other people's mothers, and you would live a happier life.
"You will not meet each other if you are not enemies”, “you will not enter the same door if you are not a family”, so there bound to be grievances in a relationship. How to find family love among grievances? All parties must bear responsibility when conflict arises. If you want to heal the wound, you have to give in, send your blessings and love-kindness to them every day, and tell them "I am very grateful to you because we ever had happy moments together. I forgive you and I wish you happiness.” After a period of time, tell them “I love you very much” and then continue with your life. After some time, you would discover that your mentality would have changed.
Try it out and you would find that this way of sharing your merit is incredible.
Your sister's personality is relatively self-centered, persistent, and impatient. She would get agitated and angry with people when things do not go her way. You should not speak or take any action for the time being, do not respond or show concern towards her. You could send her a short message to bless her during festivals such as Chinese New Year, Mid-autumn Festival or on her birthday but maintain minimum contact with her and wait for a suitable time in the future.
Do not bear hatred, do not complain, do not blame her, share your merits with her, there would come a day when the situation would improve. Please bear with it, my best wishes to you.
The frequent quarrels of your parent often makes you feel helpless, but remember not to add in your opinion. If you have the energy, clear out the clutter in your home and make it a comfortable place for living. If possible, try to move to another place to have a change of environment, and it might help to redirect everyone’s attention.
The Spiritual Well-being program has been temporarily suspended. Whether it would be relaunched depends on future conditions. If you are interested, you could listen to the "Every family has a scripture that is often being recited", https://www.spga.org.hk/audio/.
In order to give birth to a child who is physical and mentally well, it requires many conditions besides having a kind heart. Let’s put it this way, it is due to the kindness and a loving heart they possess, they are able to take care of the children with special needs. This is the most precious mission they are given this life.
You should leave him alone and direct your attention to taking care of your family.
It is difficult for people who are addicted to gambling to kick the habit. You must be patient and treat yourself with loving kindness.
First of all, do not criticize, oppose or stop them from doing so, instead show your love and care for their sweet relationship.
When they realize that you are the person whom they could speak to, they would confide to you about their feelings and the relationship. Let them know that you are there to support, help and accompany them in this most memorable and loving journey of their lives.
She came back to me after five months because she was abused by her boyfriend. I tried to find out more about it but she refused to communicate, all she wants is money. She would shout and yell nasty words if she could not get what she wants. What should I do?
You should be in peace with whatever that comes or leaves. When your daughter needs you, you have the responsibility to protect her but it is not necessary to question her.
This is because your daughter is unable to be at peace with herself, with what arises and diminishes, and with her current situation and her future. Simply let her experience life by herself. The most important thing is not to give up on yourself.
You have to touch yourself first and let go of the thought of hoping your family members could let go of things.
"Give a thief enough rope and he will hang himself", "haste does not bring success", so do not try to change them but continue to express and shower your love and concern towards them.
Please spend a few minutes every day to imagine that your father is living a healthy and happy life. You must really feel what you imagine with faith and hope.
"All things are created by the mind alone", but this does not need to be conveyed to your father. Just spend a few minutes of your time every day to radiate positive energy to him, and you might get unexpected results.
First of all, family members must take turns to visit him, take care of him, help him to find the value and meaning of his life by praising him and thanking him for the wholesome acts that he has done in this life. Although he is in a coma, he could certainly hear the loving words from you.
Secondly, most people who have suffered from a stroke have things that they could not let go of. You must try to find out what the unresolved things are and help him to settle them so that he could be in peace with no hindrance.
You must let go as you still have other responsibilities and family members to take care of. It is understandable that you would miss your loved ones but do not let yourself fall into a prolonged period of grief and sorrow.
If the living relatives refuse to let go and cling tightly to the relationship, then the deceased would have difficulty in taking rebirth in a good place.
Therefore, when the life of your loved ones comes to an end, you have to face this fact positively. Wishing him going to the best place is the greatest love and filial piety shown towards him.
It is through certain conditions that both of you are related, this is a life-long relationship. You must be feeling very uncomfortable with this distressed relationship.
You may wish to take the opportunity of her birthday to express your friendliness to her. You may give her a call to wish her happy birthday or ask her what gift she would like to have.
People like others who care about them, especially our seniors. You must try to get along well with each other.
If something happens to a family member, we have to give him time and room, and wait for the right moment to turn the situation.
Firstly, you could convey your feelings that are difficult to express verbally by sending an email or text message to the other party. Secondly, you have to change the energy around you. You should think of the happy times you have spent together before the incident. Put that happiness and harmonious energy in your mind and tell yourself that the problem has been resolved.
Use your mind to create whatever outcome you wish to have. The great energy of your thought could turn negative emotion into positive. Do not have sorrowful thoughts, otherwise, the outcome would be in accordance with your thoughts.
There are all types of people in the world, not to mention those who owe debts and abandon their wives and children irresponsibly!
When a person does not care about his conscience, he could behave worse than what I have said. Could you accept it if I say this is due your past debts or kamma with him?
If you could not accept it, please reflect on it and see whether in the past you have been spoiling him or accommodating his misbehavior, thereby making him think that he is the greatest of all.